My World

mandatoryupgrades:

Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:

I want that to be the final line of my biography.

lucifersblog:

washingtub:

• Wet hair
• Comb through
• Separate at the part
• Draw a pentagram on the floor
• Perform blood sacrifice
• Offer up your soul to the devil
• Chant ancient Latin conjuration spell
• Summon Satan
• Ask Satan to braid your hair

You know what?

Screw you. I am done braiding people’s hair. Do you know how many braids I have done today?

Thirty-fucking-seven.

And I don’t even get a “Hey Satan how’s it going your cloven hooves look fabulous today” it’s just “Braid it. Go.”

made-in-amerika:

I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.

Dear person I hate,
Dear person I like,
Dear ex boyfriend,
Dear ex girlfriend,
Dear ex bestfriend,
Dear bestfriend,
Dear *anyone*,
Dear Santa,
Dear mom,
Dear dad,
Dear future me,
Dear past me,
Dear person I’m jealous of,
Dear person I had a crush on,
Dear girlfriend,
Dear boyfriend,
Dear [insert URL here],

(Source: wishtoconfess)

chefboyardeezie:

banjo-jeff:

chefboyardeezie:

when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head

you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows

im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head

lunaticphan:

So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT

But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. 

Cry

stevenfresco:

stevenfresco:

it’s 2013 why can’t i delete friends in real life

ok so it turns out what i was thinking of is called murder

cornchipz:

awkwardcontent:

Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.

some people never develop beyond this stage